Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize