Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Randomize
