I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
