this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
ok first of all what the fuck
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
