You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
