I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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