after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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