I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize