I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
