I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
