They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
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