I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
