Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Randomize
