I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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