erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
