my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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