Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
