i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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