It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
