So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
