Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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