Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
