when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize