Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
