Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
