so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize