Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
