Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
