he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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