physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I'm just crazy horny about you
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
