i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
