do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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