Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Mom said you looked used
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
