How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
