apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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