Just fell off a train. Bad.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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