he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
