The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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