you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
