This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
