From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
