Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize