It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
