You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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