i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
