Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
then he tried to convert me to islam
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
