yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
