I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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