I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
