Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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