Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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