Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize