i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Liz is crying about burritos again.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
