I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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