That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
tequila makes me forget i have legs
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
